Showing posts with label united airlines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label united airlines. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

United Airlines bumps armed Koran-thumping jihadi off Plane

Stewardesses on United Airlines flight tackled today an unidentified long-bearded man wearing a thick vest filled with plastique and ball bearings, shouting in Arabic, who insisted on spreading out his prayer rug in the pilot's cabin while the plane flew over Manhattan.

They dragged him out of the first class cabin feet first, his hands tied behind him. The man was yelling incoherent slurs about infidels, repeatedly screamed "allahu akbar," insisted on his right to have sex with 9-year old children, and threatened the stewardesses with the revenge of a prophet with a scimitar. "May all your infidels fall out of the skies," he shouted as he was thrown headfirst down the staircase to the tarmac.

Spokesmen from CAIR, the COUNCIL ON ISLAMIC RELATIONS, rushed to the scene and threatened to sue United Airlines and the United States.  Read more.....

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Fly Unfriendly Skies of United

United Airlines proudly presents it's new seating division

United Airlines will not be beat, even if you take their seat. Previously, airlines were required to pay passengers four times their ticket price if they were more than 4 hours late, but United now has a deal beater. If they need a passenger's seat, they will simply beat them and drag them from the plane. This way, they keep costs low for the little people, while kicking the teeth in of uppity, fancy white doctors.