The fossilized remains were discovered in Wessex, at the supposed site of the historic Battle of Edington (present-day Wiltshire), where in May, 878 AD, patriotic Anglo-Saxons defeated "The Heathen Army" of the Viking invaders, leading to the eventual liberation and unification of England.
The 6 foot-long fossil reveals that the extinct early man of England possessed two large working testicles (a left one and a right one), which shatters all modern theories about the origins of today's residents of the British Isles.
Attached to the testicles were two fully developed legs and a solid, erect spine that allowed him to stand tall. As if that weren't enough, Testiculus Englishmanus had a pair of strong arms with powerful hands, making them ideal to form fists or use weapons. More.....
